Making the journey from my head to my heart!
During an interview with a Trent University research student I found myself becoming very emotional when describing how I felt about being diagnosed with Parkinson’s. It seemed to be one of the few times that I was confronted by the question of how my life has changed as the progressive disease has taken a little more of my energy, mobility and cognitive abilities away. I reflected of the lower level of performance I have gradually learned to expect from myself in all areas of my life and that my golden years may not be what I had planned. I had hoped to work into my late 60’s but that became obvious when even my downsized “final job” became extremely challenging and came to an abrupt end, not by my choice.
For the last few years I busied myself with part time work and volunteering for a number of organizations. I also pursued my hobby of antiques and collectibles making a much better “buyer” than “seller”. Busyness kept my emotions at bay and recognizing the full impact of my new reality. Last month was a time of major commitments that saw me over extend myself to the point of burn-out.
The interview came at a time that I was wrestling with where I would put my energies with the realization that the list of things to do must become more in tuned with my current situation. As a guy who has always felt measured by the things he is “doing”, it may be the time to focus on who he is “being” in the future. Perhaps “being” a good husband, a better brother, more available father or uncle could be more aligned with my new reality. Accepting doing less may be the first step in being or feeling more. Letting go of the past, doing stuff with/in my head to being more in the present touching people through emotional availability from my heart. So off I go to trim my to-do list and reconnect with people that may have been sided stepped in the past. So if you get a call, say hi & chat for a bit, that is if, you are not too busy!